found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
