you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
