He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
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I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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