Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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