it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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