I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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