Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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