I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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