If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
