Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
