Rock
Scissors
Fuck
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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