4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize