I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
