wanna go halves on a baby?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
