I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
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