How'd it feel making her break her religion?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Enjoy the penises
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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