Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
