I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize
