Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
