When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
