Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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