i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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