where am i from again
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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