What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
