Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
