3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize