Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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