so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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