I have demons in me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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