he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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