i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
