We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
