five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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