You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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