I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
