We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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