So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
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