Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
There's even glitter on my cock...
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