ya dads aren't the best wingmen
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
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Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
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