fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
