Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
