Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
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