i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Be still, my beating vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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