Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
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