you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
