Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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