help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
