Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He just canceled. I got an amazing new dress and now he’s decided he’s spending the weekend with his family
In other news, there’s some rando in an expensive hotel bar who is going to get very lucky tonight because I love the way this dress makes my tits look. Want to help me find him?
Randomize