You're a womanizer and a bitch.
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
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She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
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in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize