Don't you send me to vm
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Sext me about skeletons
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