he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
