the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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