I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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