it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize