I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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