I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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