Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Randomize
