Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
