it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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