Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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