just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
