Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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