I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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