That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize