You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
i think my cat just said my name.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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