Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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