She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
