nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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