That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
