While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize