i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
